the-horizontal-poet:

ellenkushner:

spastasmagoria:

raqstarnails:

Anne Boleyn/ King Henry VIII inspired nail set

I will just leave this here.

TUDOR NAILS FTW!

Hard as NailsWhen I was a senior resident in pediatrics,I discovered that if my nails were pretty on call nights,no one on my floor would die.Every other week I’d visit on my one day offa female manicurist from Odessawho quizzed me about my loverswhile she pushed back my cuticles.When I finally admitted I lived with my girlfriend,the Russian suddenly had no appointments available.So I found myself a gay Greek manicurist,who regaled me with tales of his Prince Albert piercingand didn’t mind touching my woman-touching fingers. I confided the manicure’s death-forestalling powerto the other female residents.Soon blood-red fingernails and toenails, too,appeared on every ward.  “If your nails are pretty….”we would say, and wink on rounds.We kept them short enough to do pelvic exams on teenage girls,but we kept them buffed, shaped and lacquered.In medical school we had been trained to act like men:“Don’t smile so much, it makes you look stupid.”“You need to be more aggressive.” Aggressive we became,but aggressive with colorful nails. On my brief visit home,my father rebuked me for not helping my mother in the kitchen.I pointed out that my brother wasn’t helping, either.He brought a dish his wife cooked, said my father.My brother eyed my professional manicure.Hiswife, he said, did her own nails.Well, that’s great, I snapped,I earned my own doctorate. My good friend trained to be a midwife,and her soft butch girlfriend a surgeon.Her soft butch partner got a lot harderin the process of becoming a doctor.They broke up weeks before my friend was supposed to inseminate.She asked her butch surgeon exif she could still use the sperm donor they had chosen together,but the ex said, No.  So my friend,too distraught to bother with a manicure,went down to the crossroads and found herself a man.She squeezed what she needed out of him,and a few days afterward, he killed himself.Nine months later, she squatted on her own bedroom floor,reached down and pulled her baby boy out herself.Her nails were short,but they were pretty. “Hard as Nails” first appeared in Ink Pot, No. 4, June 2004. It’s in my Lambda-Literary-Award-winning poetry book The Horizontal Poet (Zeitgeist Press, 2011, $14) and in my poetry chapbook The Underwater Hospital (Zeitgeist Press, 2006, $5). For a signed copy, Paypal cost of book+$1 shipping/handling to Jmsteckel@aol.com or send a check to Jan Steckel/PO Box 18797/Oakland, CA 94619.

the-horizontal-poet:

ellenkushner:

spastasmagoria:

raqstarnails:

Anne Boleyn/ King Henry VIII inspired nail set

I will just leave this here.

TUDOR NAILS FTW!

Hard as Nails
When I was a senior resident in pediatrics,
I discovered that if my nails were pretty on call nights,
no one on my floor would die.
Every other week I’d visit on my one day off
a female manicurist from Odessa
who quizzed me about my lovers
while she pushed back my cuticles.
When I finally admitted I lived with my girlfriend,
the Russian suddenly had no appointments available.
So I found myself a gay Greek manicurist,
who regaled me with tales of his Prince Albert piercing
and didn’t mind touching my woman-touching fingers.
 
I confided the manicure’s death-forestalling power
to the other female residents.
Soon blood-red fingernails and toenails, too,
appeared on every ward.  “If your nails are pretty….”
we would say, and wink on rounds.
We kept them short enough to do pelvic exams on teenage girls,
but we kept them buffed, shaped and lacquered.
In medical school we had been trained to act like men:
“Don’t smile so much, it makes you look stupid.”
“You need to be more aggressive.” 
Aggressive we became,
but aggressive with colorful nails.
 
On my brief visit home,
my father rebuked me for not helping my mother in the kitchen.
I pointed out that my brother wasn’t helping, either.
He brought a dish his wife cooked, said my father.
My brother eyed my professional manicure.
Hiswife, he said, did her own nails.
Well, that’s great, I snapped,
I earned my own doctorate.
 
My good friend trained to be a midwife,
and her soft butch girlfriend a surgeon.
Her soft butch partner got a lot harder
in the process of becoming a doctor.
They broke up weeks before my friend was supposed to inseminate.
She asked her butch surgeon ex
if she could still use the sperm donor they had chosen together,
but the ex said, No.  So my friend,
too distraught to bother with a manicure,
went down to the crossroads and found herself a man.
She squeezed what she needed out of him,
and a few days afterward, he killed himself.
Nine months later, she squatted on her own bedroom floor,
reached down and pulled her baby boy out herself.
Her nails were short,
but they were pretty.
 
“Hard as Nails” first appeared in Ink Pot, No. 4, June 2004. It’s in my Lambda-Literary-Award-winning poetry book The Horizontal Poet (Zeitgeist Press, 2011, $14) and in my poetry chapbook The Underwater Hospital (Zeitgeist Press, 2006, $5). For a signed copy, Paypal cost of book+$1 shipping/handling to Jmsteckel@aol.com or send a check to Jan Steckel/PO Box 18797/Oakland, CA 94619.

(via bisexual-books)

Dr. Nim sure that ‘All patients are just faking it’

cranquis:

gomerblogworld:

www.gomerblog.com

Dr. Nim sure that ‘All patients are just faking it’

Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that patient has pain that is “just in their head.”
he's back

he’s back

Known for years by co-workers as “Numb-Nim,” by his inability to understand anything from the patients point of view, Dr. Nim prides himself in his “nobody’s going to fool me” attitude in the ER.  He currently holds a 27 year record of lowest satisfaction scores in the country.  Despite this, Dr. Nim maintains he would rather withhold pain meds from someone who needs them than give a “druggy” some drugs.

“Oh sweet mercy please don’t make me work another shift with him,” said one of his ER physician partners.  ”Seriously, he doesn’t even go into the rooms any more.  We had a patient with Fibromyalgia who was literally writhing in pain.  He did nothing.  I even showed him, in his own medical book out of his briefcase, how debilitating and painful the disease can be.  I just went into the room and saw the patient after Dr. Nim had dismissed  her without even going in the room.  He needs to just retire, or die.”  We tried to speak with other co-workers about his behavior, but others were not as positive.
“That patient was a faker,” Dr. Nim said of the patient he did not see.  Despite “seeing” over 1,700 cases of Fibromyalgia over his career, he is yet to give any pain medication to a single one.
“I can tell, they have a certain look to them,” he said, even though he never actually saw the patient in the first place.
Shortly after that, a patient with an open tibia fracture was wheeled into another room.  The patient thrashed in pain due to the visible bone protruding through his skin.
“Typical.  Those fakers will do anything for narcotics.  NOT GOING TO WORK,” he screamed to the man who proceeded to lose consciousness due to his pain.
We tried to contact Dr. Nim after his shift for further comment, but were unable to understand him due to the muffled sound he produced from how far his head was up his own ass.

image

When you come across certain words - always, never - in exam questions

essaycrisis:

image

elytra:

riotrite:

igotpillstheyremultiplying:

autistpsyche:

you should check out #AcademicAbleism on twitter, if you haven’t already. 

My life.

Sounds familiar

Super important.

(via supersonic--overdrive)

Watching a hospital scene on a TV show

aspiringdoctors:

medsurgnurse:

Wrong

It’s the worst.

(Source: whatshouldwecallme, via medicalexamination)

newsweek:

Our friends at Propublica have this handy search engine that helps you find out whether or not your healthcare professionals have earned money from drug companies. Follow their series, Dollars for Docs, here. 

newsweek:

Our friends at Propublica have this handy search engine that helps you find out whether or not your healthcare professionals have earned money from drug companies. Follow their series, Dollars for Docs, here

aspiringdoctors:

beyondtheoath:

seosaimhin:

This is the epitome of accuracy, I can’t even tell you.
(Not my artwork!)

Zach Weiner summarizes it best.

Troof.

aspiringdoctors:

beyondtheoath:

seosaimhin:

This is the epitome of accuracy, I can’t even tell you.

(Not my artwork!)

Zach Weiner summarizes it best.

Troof.